


watching through my fingers

by rrosewhip



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ed is like i said useless and dense, Ed is useless, Ling is very obvious, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-07 06:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14074599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rrosewhip/pseuds/rrosewhip
Summary: A short journey through Ed's slightly oblivious feelings for Ling and a path to getting back in touch with himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'll keep this short and sweet but this is my first chaptered fic so i'm kind of excited and am also writing this for fun and to see how i do with a long-ish project like this! i haven't much else to say i guess! the title is from the song good grief by bastille and tags may be updated as this progresses! i'm also not sure how long this is going to be but i'm gonna try to keep it under 10 chapters.
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoy it!!!

Edward Elric has the emotional capacity to that of an eggplant.

You could ask anyone who knew him and they'd agree. It was like he was constipated and his emotions were getting even more and more backed up with each passing day. Eventually it would start to come out, but it'd be slow, awkward, and probably a little painful for the parties involved.

It wasn't as if Ed couldn't express his emotions, it was more like he was so adverse and under practiced, that if he tried, it would either go wrong, he'd say something ridiculous, or he'd start only to drop the entire topic. It was amusing sometimes and other times it was just a total train wreck, painful to watch. Ed could show his feelings, that was easy and he did it all the time. It's the _talking_ about them that poses the problem. It was no surprise though that sometimes he didn't realize he was feeling certain things until after _everybody else_ somehow already knew.

Ed’s emotional constipation was the beginning and end of his issues.

 

“You’re an asshole!” Calling his friends assholes probably wasn’t helping either.

Ling simply laughed and Al along with Winry, Paninya, and Lan Fan shook their head or rolled their eyes. This was like a routine.

“It was just a bite! Don't be over dramatic!” Ling said leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand. Ed continued to glare at him, irate.

“Just a bite? Your _just a bite_ was the entire damn thing!” His tone was incredulous and he slumped in his seat. “I was really looking forward to that.” He grumbled, his chin on the cafeteria table and arms laying flat in front of him.

“Stop brooding, Ed. I can always make more.” Winry tsked and kicked him lightly with her foot from under the table. He kept frowning and looked up at her.

“I mean I _guess_ .” He said with a heavy sigh following. Ling had eaten, or in his words ‘taken a bite’ of, Ed’s last piece apple pie Winry had made a few days prior. Over time she’d gotten a lot better at it and it was _good_. So it was only natural that he’d be looking forward to it, and it was only natural that Ling would eat it in his place.

This was how their rapport went more often than not. Ling would do something to bug Ed, Ed would call him an asshole or an idiot, and it’d go from there. It was more like flirting at this point but it seemed like both of them (read: mostly Ed) were too dense to actually take notice. Though it’s also likely neither realizes (again read: Ed) that that’s what’s going on.

Their tiny arguments never had any actual bite to them. They were full of empty threats, courtesy of Ed, and light baiting, courtesy of Ling. Ed always took the bait.

The rest of lunch followed without incident. It consisted of Ed’s passive aggressive comments, everyone ignoring them, and lots of yelling, flicking, and some choice comments about teachers. At some point Mustang walked over to tell them all, very politely, to shut the _fuck_ up or else there was gonna be a problem. As soon as he left Ed made a mocking face and stuck his tongue out. Yeah, this was _peak_ adolescence.

 

Two hours ago school had been released and yet another hour has passed and Ed still wasn't home. He was sitting in his chemistry teacher's room trying to teach Ling electrochemistry, specifically how to balance redox reactions. Needless to say it wasn’t going well. It was a mixture of Ed’s patience beginning to thin and Ling’s own misunderstanding of the idea that was causing this to go nowhere. They both played a part in the terrible turn out of this.

“No, no, no, you’re not doing the oxidation numbers right at all!” Ed said and whacked Ling’s hand with his pencil.

“Hey! That hurt!” Ling whines, rubbing at his hand.

Ed ignores him. “Look at the compounds on both sides of the equation! Compare the elements to see which ones were oxidized and _then_ make your half reactions with those. You’re not using the elements that stayed the same at all.” He explained, pointing to the reaction Ling was trying to reduce. Ling looked at the problem, and then back to Ed with a look of complete and utter confusion. Ed groaned and threw his arms up and his head back. “I don’t know how else to explain it to you. It’s like if you have an entire lunch, right? And someone takes something from your tray and puts it on their own. You’re looking at your tray and their tray to see what’s different, and once you find the difference that’s all you focus on, because you don’t care about they stuff they didn’t take.” He sounds exasperated and it’s completely justified. It’s been an hour and they haven’t gotten anywhere with anything.

They’d been jumping around from topic to topic in the entire makeup of electrochemistry and Ling was hopeless. No matter how many ways Ed tried to explain things and no matter how many times he went over it Ling couldn’t wrap his head around it. It was frustrating to say the least and Ed didn’t know how teachers did it.

Ling scrunched his nose and then dropped his pencil, setting his head on the table with an over dramatic groan. “Can we call it quits? My brain’s gonna explode any second now and I don’t think you want my blood on your hands.”

“If we keep going I think I would end up with blood on my hands anyway, so yeah let’s stop.” Ling gasps in mock offense and Ed rolls his eyes. He sets his pencil down and stretches in his seat. His neck cracked and shoulder popped and instantly he felt a little more awake. He scratched his head and stood up, his chair scraping against the floor painfully loud.

Ling stayed seated and studied Ed for a few moments before organizing his things and putting them away.

“Are we going over more of it tomorrow?” Ling asks while pushing in his chair. Ed hums and thinks about it for a second.

“Yeah, I guess we can. Might as well do the homework while we’re at it.” He nods and throws his bag over his shoulder. “Do you wanna meet up somewhere to do it?” He looks over with an expectant look. It was a Saturday tomorrow and Ed really wasn’t the best at making plans the day of, actually he wasn’t all that good with making plans in general. He was too finicky and indecisive.

“We can just do it at my place.” Ling shrugs and Ed narrows his eyes at his back.

“Your place? Are we even going to get work _done_ ?” He was always skeptical of going to Ling’s house to do anything school related. His skepticism was warranted because in the past going over to his house always ended with them getting anything _but_ their work done.

“Of course!” He grins and turns to face him. “We’ll get work done, I’m sure of it! Have I ever let you down, Ed?”

“D...Do you actually want me to answer that?”

“...”

“Fine. We’ll do it at yours.” He grumbles and Ling gives him an enthusiastic thumbs up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then, study buddy.” Ed feels like he’s going to explode.

 

They get virtually no work done. They answered half of one problem before Ling started to complain about the silence and turned on the tv for background noise. That lead to a few more minutes of work before a movie came on and they got distracted and ended up watching it.

Ed wasn’t really annoyed that they didn’t get any work done, he knew it was going to end up like this because it _always_ does. If anything he’s relieved because he could barely focus anyway.

Ling’s room was big, or at least larger than his own. It’s walls were white with splashes of colour here and there. His bed sat in the corner, sheets pulled over it neatly and pillows stacked in order. He had shelves lined with books, though Ed doubts he actually reads any of the ones there. He has a desk that’s cluttered with papers and pencils and empty water bottles. His laptop sits closed underneath it all and the tower of papers threatens to fall over. He has shelves that decorate his walls that held various things like pictures, old toys, plants, etc.. He had two windows that looked out to the side of the house, and a door that lead out to a small balcony overlooking the backyard. The stand where his tv sat was clean of everything save for a few DVD and video games cases. His floor is covered by a cream velvet pile carpet free of any blemishes.

It was a nice room.

Ed was currently positioned in the middle of his floor laying across a bean bag chair he’d hauled out from under Ling’s bed. He watched the movie, not all that interested in it. He wasn’t entirely sure what was playing but he thinks it’s something they’ve watched before.

He glances up to find Ling asleep a few feet away from him and he pauses. He peers at him carefully and sighs to himself. He quietly pushes himself off the ground and grabs the throw blanket off the chair in the other corner of his room, gently draping it over him and makes his leave.

 

Ling calls him later.

Ed answers abruptly, “What?”

“Oh wow I feel so welcomed by you, Ed.” Ling’s voice is laced with a cheery kind of sarcasm. It drives Ed insane.

“ _What_...do you want?” You can practically tell he’s glaring.

“Nothing, nothing! I was just going to apologize for falling asleep on you.” This surprised him. Ling had fallen asleep on him lots of times before and he never felt the need to apologize then. Ed didn’t really care either way because he’s definitely fallen asleep when he’s invited his friends over before. He doesn’t mind it much. So he wonders why he’s apologizing this time.

“Why are you apologizing?”

Ling makes a sound that Ed assumes is one of confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve never apologized before, so why now?”

“Oh,” a pause follows. “I haven’t?”

“No.”

“Hm.” Another pause. “Well, I’m sorry anyways! I guess I was more tired than I had thought.” A short laughs echos through the phone and Ed’s heart unknowingly makes a small skip.

“It’s okay I guess. I knew we weren’t gonna get any work done so I’m not that upset.” He shrugs to himself and falls backwards onto his bed. “Besides, now we’re even for the last time I did that to you.”

“I suppose so.” Ed can hear the tiny smile in Ling’s voice.

 

Monday rolls around and Ed sits with Al and Winry in the cafeteria in the morning. His head buried in his arms at a futile attempt to get another twenty minutes of sleep before he should start walking to his class. But the people were too loud and the lights were too bright and his arms really were not at all comfortable. The metal of his prosthetic arm was digging hard against forehead through the sleeve of his jacket and it agitated him. He sat up and yawned obnoxiously.

“Brother, it’s rude to yawn like that.” Al noted, looking over at him. Ed shrugged.

“My bad.” He mumbles and rubs at his eyes.

Ed wasn’t much of a morning person. He was someone who, no matter the time they went to sleep, would still be exhausted by the time his alarm went off. He wasn’t much of a coffee drinker and he was far too tired to make tea in the mornings so he went through half of his morning barely awake. There was the rare occasion when Al or Winry would make tea and he’d have some, but that’s happened only twice before and he doubts it’ll happen again sometime soon.

He does, however, eat breakfast. Even if it was the school’s shitty breakfast. Sometimes he ate it and sometimes he didn’t. The breakfast they served was basically from the frozen isle of the grocery store that you stick in the microwave for a minute and then serve. He only really liked the french toast sticks they had on Mondays anyway, and that was what he’d eaten already. His carton of milk sat untouched. He stared at it, uninterested and unmoving. He wasn’t going to drink it. Both Winry and Al had already tried to get him to but it was no use. It wasn’t going to happen. Not in this lifetime, not ever. He had said that too, word for word. He and Winry had a yelling match over it actually.

“If you don’t drink your milk you’re never going to grow, you know.” Ed looked up ready to snap on who made the comment but it was just Ling. It was too early to start…

“Maybe when it stops tasting like piss I’ll try it.” He grumbled and pushed it over to him. “You can have it.” Ling takes it with a grin and sits down across from them, Lan Fan on his left and doing the same.

Light conversation dots their early morning and the bell rings. Ed wants to leave already.

 

The school day wasn’t nearly as bad as Ed felt like it was. Some classes just felt like they were four hours too long while others were the designated 50 minutes. It was such a pain in the ass. His longest feeling class was, of course, with Mustang. It wasn’t that he hated him or anything, not exactly, he just didn’t like the class so he tended to just not do anything for it. If he did it was the bare minimum. That often lead to talks that started with something along the lines of ‘you have a lot more potential than this and I expect to see it everyday’ to which Ed would respond with a ‘yeah huh’ and go on with his day.

It was very repetitive if he did say so himself.

Right now, though, he sat in chemistry, rushing to finish the homework he hadn't done. It wasn’t particularly challenging or anything, it was just a lot more work than he had thought. He scribbled down almost illegible answers and Ling sat next to him watching amused. Ling hadn’t done his homework either, but he wasn’t in as big of a rush to turn it in.

“She doesn’t take off late points. You don’t have to do it now.” Ling says, peeking over Ed’s shoulder to see where he’s gotten. Ed barely acknowledges him and Ling drops his chin onto his shoulder. Ed stops and shrugs him off.

“Quit it,” He mutters and goes back to writing an equation. Whenever Ed did anything science related, he always got into a zone where it was almost like nothing else existed. It was interesting to watch but trying to get something from him was an absolute task.

He only got half way through it before their teacher started the lesson. Ed cursed to himself and looked up at the board. He mentally groaned at the idea of having to take notes again. He didn’t mind notes, it was just that it got boring after doing it for three school days in a row. Nonetheless he took out paper and wrote down what he didn’t already know.

Taking notes while she explained though was hard, mainly because Ling was a very distracting person. Ling’s unwillingness to pay attention to whatever was going on probably played a factor in his not understanding the concept they were learning.

Ed could feel Ling watching him write and looks over at him. He stares at him for a moment, trying to read the emotion on his face but it was gone before he could even attempt to name it. They stared at each other for a few more seconds before Ed directed his gaze elsewhere. He was utterly aware of the pounding is his ears and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He hoped Ling couldn’t hear it.

Looking down at his phone for the time and then back up to the board, Ed made a mental note to try to get at least three quarters of the way through class before Ling started to bug him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _noun_  
>  **rubatosis**  
>  1\. The unsetteling awareness of one’s own heartbeat.
> 
> a lot of this is based on my current high school experience so sadjflsdf, especially all of the chem stuff, also i imagine them to be about juniors and al is a sophomore! (so 11th and 10th grade)
> 
> a quick disclaimer: im mainly writing this to try and see how well i can develop characters so i have no idea where this is going or how it's going to end, so bear with me if things get weird/confusing/OOC im doing my best!
> 
> i hope you enjoyed!! kudos and comments are appreciated as well as feedback in general! you can find me at tumblr here:
> 
> tumblr: radsukeuchiha
> 
> thanks again!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to apologize now but this chapter sort of has a different feel to it than the first one which kind of bugs me but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ at some point, whether while i'm writing this or after it's complete, i'll probably go back in and edit the first chapter in it's totality, but i hope you enjoy this one nonetheless!

Ed wouldn't say he had nightmares often, but they probably occurred to him more than they did to the average person. He was usually okay with handling them himself, they were never  _ too _ too terrible. But sometimes they were and when they were they would eat at him all day. He wasn’t good at handling himself when that happened. He got too snappy or he got too quiet and he overall just emitted a vibe that was miserable.

He probably should talk about it, and it’d probably be smart for him too. But the idea of that makes him a little uncomfortable despite knowing he has people who would be willing to listen and only listen.

His problem wasn’t with them, no he knew he could trust them just fine and that they wouldn’t breathe a word of it to anyone else if he so chooses to talk to them, it was more a personal thing. An out of touch with his feelings and not quite sure how to handle them thing. He can’t say he’s rationally and clearly expressed something about his feelings since before his mom died.

Even when he goes to counselors, which he rarely does now because he skips his designated days more often than not, he has trouble articulating what he feels at certain moments. It gets jumbled in his head and he can’t make out why things feel the way they do.

_ “How do you feel when you wake up from something like that?” _

Ed felt bad. Really bad, kind of like he wanted to vomit.

_ “Nauseous.” _

_ “And why is that?” _   That’s what tripped him up. He shrugged.

_ “I don’t know. I just get nauseous.” _

Ed didn’t go to school the next day. He asked Winry to give any work he missed to Al so Al could give it to him, and that was the most human interaction he’d had so far today. Al popped his head in when he got home but after that he was alone.

He stayed home alone in his room and slept most of the day. Or tried to sleep. He felt tired and sluggish and had awoken with a feeling of existential dread that was extremely overwhelming. It almost felt like the world was collapsing on top of him. It was stupid, he thought.

His phone buzzed on his nightstand and he reached an arm out to grab it. He was going to turn it off, he didn’t feel like talking and if he did talk he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to actually speak more than a few syllables. He looked at the ID and exhaled. He answered it.

“Hello?” It came out a bit toneless.

“You okay?” Ling sounded quiet. He debated on lying to him, but that wouldn’t really get him anywhere.

“Not really.” He wasn’t sure if Ling had heard it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Yeah, he’d heard it.

“Not really.” Ed repeated and laid onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

“Okay...if you do...You can call me, or text. I want you to be okay.” His voice was weird. Pleasant, warm, and full of genuine concern. One Ed hadn’t heard Ling use on him in a while. 

Ling was the type of person to show deep concern in situations like this when he wasn’t sure what was going on or if he wasn’t able to see and assess a situation for himself. In that way he was different from Al and Winry. They both were more straightforward in their approach in regards to their worry for Ed. Winry would try and force him to talk, not in an overbearing or mean way, rather she would ask small questions that would grow as she went on. Al would tip toe around the subject for a little, and eventually he’d get to the point and try to help and or distract Ed from whatever was eating at him. 

He nodded, and then remembered they were on the phone. “Okay. Thanks.”

Ed hadn’t taken him up on his offer, but that was how it usually went. Maybe once he learns how to talk about emotions like a normal functioning human being he would.

 

He was back to normal the next day and it was like nothing had happened at all.

To prove to them he was just fine, he made a ridiculous bet with Ling to see who could do the most cartwheels in one go to decide who would buy lunch. It ended in disaster and both of them tripping over themselves and eating handfuls of dirt. Paninya got it all on video.

“I totally won that.” Ling says from his spot in the grass. His body sprawled out in all directions and hair laced with dirt.

“What, are you serious? I did  _ way  _ more than you did!” Ed argued with furrowed eyebrows, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees, spitting out the dirt and grass that slipped into his mouth.

“ _ Love _ ta’ break it to ya, Ed, but Ling definitely won! Just barely though, he did half of one more before you both fell flat on your faces.” Paninya interjected, her voice light and honeyed. She always found amusement in his misery it seemed. Ling let out a victory shout with his arms in the air and Ed fell back onto his chest, a feeling of defeat and a little disbelief mixed in there.

“My wallet is going to need a funeral.” He huffed, pulling at his bangs.

 

His wallet needed a funeral. They went to McDonald’s which wasn’t at all that expensive, but nothing was ever cheap when you had Ling ordering more than one meal off the menu.

They sat now with two tables pushed together and lots of ketchup packets now scattered over the table top. Ling had  _ at least  _ five different meals in front of him and Ed wondered if he was ever taught manners when someone else was buying you food.

Ed chewed on a fry, half of it sticking out of his mouth and he looked out at the playplace. He wondered if he could go out there, he was short enough. Sh….short enough... His face contorted painfully as he the thought processed. Ed had a real problem with admitting his lack of height to himself. It put a weird taste in his mouth, though to be honest that was probably an exaggeration on his part. He just didn’t want to face the truth.

“You admitted to yourself that you’re short didn't you.” Winry sounds amused and when Ed looks at her she had a shit-eating smile on her face.

“Who are you calling short?!” He says incredulously, a frown etched into his face.“I'm still growing! Calling me short, the nerve of some people, god  _ damn _ .”

“Don't attack  _ me _ ! You're the one who thought it!” She huffed, flicking a ketchup packet at him. He flicked one back in retaliation and it began a short lived fight with half full and empty packets that leaked ketchup getting thrown across the table with a few insults interjected here and there.

It ended with an employee impatiently telling them to stop or they'd get kicked out. Ed now had dabbles of ketchup on his shirt and face and Winry looked about the same. They keep straight faces until the guy walks away and then burst into a fit of giggles.

“Hey, Ed I bet you could play in that. You're definitely the right size.” Ling points out to the playplace and Ed glowers at him while wiping condiments from his face.

“I'm gonna kick your ass.” Ed stands up abruptly and goes to lung across at Ling but he's already up and making a b-line to the playplace. Ed chases after him up the tunnel tubes.

 

The playplace is definitely too big for Ling and yet he still moves quick through it. It pissed Ed off. He crawled on his hands and knees and gagged at the smell. It had the aroma of sweaty feet and dirty socks. It was disgusting, really.

He’d chased after him for a solid three minutes before they both agreed that this wasn’t the smartest thing they’ve ever done. So they sat squished together inside a small area that consisted of an opening/exit and a bubble window that looked out over the parking lot.

Ed had his shoulder pressed uncomfortably against the plastic wall and Ling’s elbow was digging into his side. They were probably too close to one another, closer than they should be, but Ed blamed it on how small the area was. Their proximity made Ed’s face flush scarlet and his chest felt like it was going to fall in on itself. He blamed it on the heat. Ling was oddly warm and he smelled like jasmine and something fruity.

“This is terrible.” Ed said in a low voice and looked at Ling out of the corner of his eye. “Why do I ever listen to you?”

“It’s not  _ so _ bad. You’re being over dramatic, Edward.” He shifted and Ed felt like he could breathe a little better. “I’m hurt at the prospect of you not liking to sit close to me. I’m a delight.” He feigned heartache and Ed watched unamused.

“I don’t.” He made an attempt at shrugging but could barely move his shoulders. That was a lie though. He didn’t mind it at all.

“Oof, Ed, you continue to wound me.” He sighed drearily and fell quiet. Ed looked at him, noticing the small change and furrowed his eyebrows slightly. He wondered if that was his fault.

“Let’s get out now. It’s hot and I’m starting to sweat.” Ed nudged him with his foot, a gesture he hoped would come across as amiable and not pushy. Ling looked over and nodded. They locked eyes for a short moment and Ed discreetly links his pinky with Ling’s in an effort to communicate what he’s unsure of and too nervous to say. Ling blinks and then smiles softly at Ed.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Ed’s thankful Ling has got a good handle on reading his thoughts.

 

Ed remembered when Ling had first transferred to their school. It was towards the end of freshman year and Ed thought it was stupid to transfer to an entirely new school when finals were coming up. 

He voiced opinion that at Ling and all he did was laugh tell him that he sure was blunt. Ed also remembered not liking him at all. Of course, his irritation faded into a sort of fond annoyance eventually. He can distinctly remember Ling telling him that he was going to follow him around because he, ‘looked like a perfect being from the stories he was told as a child’. 

Ed thought it was stupid and that it was lie. He also voiced that. That resulted in Ling telling him this story, in depth, and causing Ed to miss the bus home.

After freshman year ended he didn’t see Ling around that often. He had a few run-ins with him but other than that there was nothing. Then suddenly at the start of sophomore year he pops back into Ed’s life and hasn’t budged since. He tried to feel annoyed about it but it was pointless. 

He liked Ling’s company and Ling liked Ed’s.

 

Ed was working on a lot of things. He was making an attempt to get a better handle on his emotions and trying to balance the anxiety that slowly chewed away at him. 

He told himself he didn’t have time for anxiety (which in fact made it worse), that it wasn’t that big of an issue because there were none of the usual signs in him. He figured if he didn’t have panic attacks or  _ feel _ anxiety the way most people generalized it, then he didn’t have it. But as it progressed it got worse and more prominent in his daily life.

It manifested in the times where he would ramble on about a topic to avoid talking about another, he would accept tasks when he already had too much on his plate in order to keep up the idea he was organized and had everything under control. He couldn’t sleep at night because he’d been unknowingly keyed up all day and his nerves were what were pushing him through every task he had. By the time the day was over and there was nothing left to do, his mind was still racing and wouldn’t calm down.

He fidgeted restlessly and soon found himself walking into a nearby park at one in the morning on a Tuesday night. He had an acidic feeling in his chest and his head was pounding from all the thoughts ramming into his skull.

Ed sat down on one of the swings, lightly pushing himself back and forth with the heels of his shoes. He sends a short text and pockets his phone. 

The temperature had dropped a bit and he was realizing he should have brought a jacket with him.

Footsteps break the silence and the swing next to him moves. The scent of jasmine fills the air around him and Ed feels himself relax a little. 

Ed and Ling met like this more often than they probably should. It wasn’t always on a week night and it wasn’t every week but it was still frequent. Ling doesn’t live far from the park Ed walks to, only a street away while Ed lives about four blocks. He doesn’t mind the walk much, the night air is soothing and it helps his head cool off.

The first time they'd run into one another here it was an accident. Ed had climbed his way on top of the tunnel slide and was staring at the very few stars that dotted the sky, while Ling sort of stared at him in wonder before Ed told him to quit staring. After that it just sort of started to happen more and more.

Whenever Ed decides he’s going to walk here, he’ll text Ling right after. He doesn’t always show up, that being because he’s asleep like every other normal person at this hour, but it’s been a rare occurrence for him not to arrive a few minutes after Ed has.

Sometimes they talk, and sometimes they don’t. Ling waits for Ed to talk first. Maybe because he doesn’t want to break the spell or maybe because he isn’t quite sure what to say to him. Either way, Ed usually breaks the silence.

“You should have brought a jacket y’know,” He stops for a moment. “Idiot.”

“And you’re one to talk. You’re less covered than I am.” Ling was right. Ed was only in shorts and a very thin t-shirt.

He shrugged. “I’ll be fine.” He hoped Ling caught the double meaning. One being  _ It’s not that cold I’m sure I won’t get sick  _ and the other saying  _ I’ll be okay in a few hours I just need some time for my mind to stop racing. _

“You always are.” He replies with a knowing smile and leans over to hook his pinky around Ed’s. Ed feels a little of the pressure in his chest release. Their hands drop in between the two swings and Ling speaks again. “Do you want to talk about it?” He always asked. Even when he was sure that Ed was gonna say no he asked, it was reassuring.

“I…” He trails for a moment and rolls his head back so he’s looking up at the sky. There isn’t much to see, the lights from the street made it hard to make anything out. Does he want to talk about it? Yes. Is he able to form a coherent sentence about his thoughts? No. So he settles for, “Maybe tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **sillage**  
>  1 . the pleasant trail and presence of someone, it is the trace of perfume

**Author's Note:**

> a quick disclaimer: im mainly writing this to try and see how well i can develop characters so i have no idea where this is going or how it's going to end, so bear with me if things get weird/confusing/OOC im doing my best!
> 
> i hope you enjoyed!! kudos and comments are appreciated as well as feedback in general! you can find me at tumblr here:
> 
> tumblr: radsukeuchiha
> 
> thanks again!!


End file.
